red rover
there is a frame of reference
it wants to be held in
outside of boundaries and under
from here to there
one thing i was never good at was red rover
red rover
it always reminded me of those books about Clifford the big red dog
red rover
and i could never run fast enough
those kids locked arms so tight
that overlapping embrace
fingers curled
leaving white marks on red skin
teeth gritting
even worse was when you'd be tearing fast
thinking you could make it this time
thinking you had found the weak link
jason and chris hate each other
they couldn't be holding onto each others arms
that tight
so you run and run and grit your teeth and
hold your breath
and at the last second before your body
waits to collapse into their arms
knowing you won't possibly break through
they let go
and you fly between them
through the air
onto your stomach
eating grass
i think that is what it was like
the first time i had sex
i think that i held my breath
i grit my teeth and i ran
and it was over
and although i wasn't face first
laying in the grass
i might as well have been
it could have been great
or it could have been like i had just run
from my team into theirs
foreign territory
like i had wanted to break into something
i was supposed to get
but didn't
like that crash
i am sure of
a crash like that
like the mountains which roll up into corners
and tumble under the earth
and i held onto the sound in my ear
like you cover a first kiss with your hand and don't wash the spot for days
i hold my right hand over my right ear and listen
to break through their arms
conquer something by my own
force and power and will
sometimes it seems these are the things just always out of reach
that arms and strength and the crash
leave it held
just beyond
that line of kids
just beyond
how fast my legs will move
where grass stains and dirty cheeks are just part of something
you thought you knew
